So. The time has come to break the inertia of the helpless and get a post written. I hadn't realized so much time had snuck by since the last time I gave due to this beautiful disaster that I call a life, but as is the nature of time it creeps away quickest when not watched.
It's not like my life has been boring either; since the last post I've gotten kicked off the hill, been thrown into a new cage, gotten doubled up with another trouble-making Native, received a firm date for my upcoming evaluation, and on top of all this commotion I've managed to stay out of trouble. At least I haven't been caught.
That would be funny if it wasn't the truth. Prison seems to be the worst place for a man to try to rehabilitate themselves. While not being a gang member, I have a lot of obligations because I'm indian. Funny how that works out: trapped by ones own culture. It's not that I don't have a choice here, but frankly the alternatives are crap. I couldn't survive in here if I didn't have the weight of the First Nation on my side.
I guess prison changes EVERYTHING. Some people don't realize that ugly little truth of being trapped by the very thing that gives me identity. That's not to say that I don't get a lot of benefit from other indians because I've taken more than my share of goodies and had other brothers put in some "work" for me. Unfortunately, it's just how things get done in here. You want new sheets? Clothes that another man hasn't worn, farted, and done worse in? You want the queens and punks to stay on their squares and leave you alone? You want something for the head to knock the edge off and make the night go as nicely as possible? You want to BELONG and when it's time to stand up you want to be sure you ain't standing all alone?
If you want these things then you better claim up coming through the door because this asn't a joke in here. There are people in here that are going to die in a cell and some of them really don't give a shit if you're a nice guy, or innocent, or trying to be a better person. Yet, when it's all said and done, there are people in here doing the right thing. It's not a good life or easy time but there are people that have turned that corner. Predominantly these are people that have a door that they can eventually step through.
In 2000, the state decided that if you received 10 years in prison then you serve 10 years with zero time off for good behavior. Prisoners are the easiest target for politicians to make hay off. Nobody loves a criminal other than the friends and family of the criminal. Anyhow. In Wisconsin judges are political creatures, too; walleyed eyes on the interests of "justice" as well as their re-election. When they began the "truth in sentencing" garbage they also decided that the current sentencing guidelines needed beefing up as well so most crimes got hefty increases. These lengthier sentences resulted in people doing longer sentences without ANY incentive to change. And this is where I find myself: a 50 year bit with no door.
